Today I have mainly been visiting the planet ZOG.
We reached the staircase lock on the Staffs and Worcs. mmmmmm. And a nice chappy on a boat waiting to go up had stood at the the top of the locks and directed operations and generally helped people through. He was frightfully nice.
When I heard about it, I spoke to my chum Maralyn, and we decided, that he should sit on his laurels, and we would take over and help him and his mrs through. Agreed,
So, for some reason, and don't ask me why , off I went to a bloke wearing a blue shirt sitting on a bench watching. I gave him the ,shpiel about what a jolly fine fellow he was .....yadda yadda. and he said " oooh thank you very much ".
I went back to the lock, quite pleased with myself, to be told that the bloke I should have been addressing, was standing by the side of Mick,. !!!!! At this point I was staring at his knobbly knees.
Maralyn was cackling something about how much I had had to drink. ! Cheeky, I will talk to her later. Squash and loads of it, as it happens.
So, why did this old duffer on the bench, happily accept all my grateful thanks etc. ??? Well,. I have no idea, but apparently, if I am free, he would like to make me his wife. !!!!! and if that's not acceptable to me, well I have made his day, so he says. But you know these old chaps,they have the gift off the gab.
Everyone had a jolly good titter, I was RED, RED with embarrassment, and then the bloke that I should have said grateful thanks to (and tugged my forlock), started talking about 50 shades of grey, and blokes inserting little balls up their wizzers. at this point I realised that I had been neglecting my washing, I mean soaking( washing machine is broke). I cleared off, and hopefully will not be visiting Planet Zog in the foreseeable future.
a horses ass. !!!!